The Cure
slow motion sobriety stirs direly
like ticks on a thin-horned beast
the black and white film resonates
greasy black hair crawls like ants
drunk for weeks, the smell lingers
like a mucous trail of a banana slug
blood dances a tango in your head
vomit and snot, well-oiled fireworks
explode on your white tea-shirt
your sins held hostage in a blackout
my mouth is sewn shut in horror
I see a mirror image of a haunted child
as red eyes drown woefully in my coffee
To continue reading, please visit HotelMasticadores. Thank you all so much for your visit. I am grateful to each of you that read my work. Please feel free to tell me how you are doing even if you don’t enjoy the post, I would still love to hear from you. My work is not for everyone put I do enjoy the friendships I once forged on WordPress. Love to each of you. May your day be blessed and full of wonder!
Joni, thank you for sharing your publication ❤️🙏
Mich, thank you for publishing this piece. I can see my father’s face at the end of that table as clearly today as I did all the days I would watch him eat a whole half-gallon of ice-cream because he could not miss anymore work. I appreciate having a venue to hopefully help others to realize we don’t have to repeat our parents’ behavior, but it will likely take a lot of help. Thank you for writing “I Am In Itself Poetry In The Dark!” It could not have been easy and yet you did it, and I cherish my signed copy! It holds a very precious spot on my bookshelf. Sending love and hugs, and heading over to read your new piece on SpillWords.
Writing about abuse and trauma is indeed very hard, but someone has to do it for others to recognize it..thank you Joni ❤️
Dear Mich, thank you so much for publishing several of us who write about our abuse, and we are so grateful that you do. Thank you for being the strong advocate that you are to help us to bring awareness not only to the abuse that occurs, but that there is help and none of us are alone. So excited for this new anthology you are publishing.
Joni, I left a longer message over at Hotel, but allow me to say here that my admiration and respect for you grow every time I read your work. This is a stunningly profound piece of writing, so disturbing and frightening, yet so important. Every time you write something new, I say to myself, “Okay, this is it–there’s no way Joni can top this one…” and yet, you continue to produce transcendent poetry time and again, raising the bar with each new masterpiece. I’m running out of words to describe how your poetry makes me feel, Joni. Suffice to say, there is no one better. I’m in awe of you, my friend. 😊
Dearest Mike, your words always make me cry. First as always, I have to tell you that your poetry about your abuse touches me the same way, and I feel every word in my own heart. I want to just hold that young boy, run and sit in a field with him, touch his face and let him know that he is loved. This was and still is a visual that I can not and will not ever get rid of, and when I think of how sick he was and how he must have been suffering, it still brings back a terrible sadness to my heart. I too, am in awe of you, Mike. Your piece “Snap Beans in a Bowl,” and I have read it so many times, brings me right there with you and your mom in the end. She loved you so much, to me that was apparent and yet she felt trapped herself. This is why we write about our life and people like Mich, at Hotel, and Manuela Timofte at Gobblers publish our work. They realize why we write this sadness and know if it helps one person to know that they are not alone, as we know how isolated we were, it is so worth it. Still I can not thank you enough for your kind words about my writing. It is difficult, I am sure, for you to read most of my pieces. Yet, you always do and I think Mich for publishing this piece and for you for reading it and this touching comment. Sending you my love, hugs and great appreciation, Mike. I think I saw you have a new piece published at Gobblers, I will read it today. We were without power, we had snow, but horrible wind and no power for a day and a half.
It’s my pleasure, Joni. It’s such an honor to experience your writing. Thank you for your generous words, too. I appreciate your kind sentiments more than you can imagine.
It snowed here yesterday, too, and the power flickered on and off for a while. We’re desperate for moisture as this winter has been bone-dry, which bodes ill for all the farmers, ranchers and livestock, as well as increasing the severity of annual summer wild fires. Climate change at work, yet so many people in SW CO are climate-change deniers. Here’s wishing you a wonderful weekend, my friend. 😊
Thank you so much Mike. I feel the same about your words. Yes, climate change deniers just blow me away. Eventually, if they are still around, they will get blown away too, either by floods, fires, tsunamis, hurricanes or some other way. Every time a particular event happens earlier than predicted by the scientist, it can set things in motion at such a faster speed that we may all look around one day and say, what in the world happened. I am glad you did not lose electricity. We don’t have a generator, which almost everyone does that lives in the boonies like we do. We lost a lot of trees. I always get sad about that, but am always thankful that they fall away from the house. Yes, bone-dry weather is so hard on the livestock and crops, I always worry about farmers. Big hugs and love Mike ❤️
Wonderful that your beautiful poetry was posted there, Joni!
Tim, thank you so much my friend. It feels good to be back and almost 100% again. In two weeks, a couple of more appointments and I have a lot to be blessed about. I have had some wonderful friends praying for me and I am so grateful. Thank you for your kind words, Tim, and for reading me on Hotel. Your kind words touch my heart. Sending you and your family lots of love.
Congratulations, Joni.
Thank you so much for reading, Tim. I am not done catching up with your site. I haven’t even checked on the owls – when I was writing you the other late afternoon, my husband made dinner and it was ready and I was hungry. So I am not done seeing what you are up to. Although I must say sometimes one post is so extensive, with outdoor photographs of the beautiful trees, river, and wildlife, and the evening with photos of the moon itself, and then all of your beautiful critters that it is like a comprehensive treat in one visit. You put in a lot of life in one post, my friend. I am very fond of owls and we have only heard Barred Owls twice since we have been here. I miss hearing and seeing the owls and you have owlets, wow, I can’t even imagine that. Big hugs my friend, and love to the family
“my mouth is sewn shut in horror”
“will I ever feel safe, where is my remedy”
Pivotal lines that epitomize the fear and nothingness we feel as children of people suffering with alcoholism and addiction.
Thank you Melissa. Yes, you are certainly right. I appreciate you reading and I agree, as children we were expected to be the adults, and playing was never an option, not when both parents are addicts, anyway. Although, with one dysfunctional and one addicted parent, from what I have studied, I get the feeling it can be just as bad. I was staying up at night as a child and teenager watching for lit cigarettes to go out as my mother almost always fell asleep with her arm suspended like it was floating in space while she was unconscious. She had started more than one grease fire in the kitchen while drunk, and so I was already afraid of dying in my sleep from fire. So I had to make sure she was completely blacked out before removing the lit cigarette from her hand and then putting it in the hall bathroom. So attending school was more like hearing background noise while worrying if my parents would be dead when I got home and what would become of me. Have a blessed weekend.
I hope you have a great weekend, too, Joni.❤️🙏🏻
Thank you Melissa, I truly appreciate that. It is certainly off to a great start.🙏🤗
I went over and finished reading. I commented over there.
I just want to say , thank you for writing, Joni! xx
Oh thank you Resa, I truly appreciate it. I got up at 4:00 am yesterday and got a lot done but was pooped out by 5:00. I want to thank you for reading me on Hotel and leaving a comment there as well. That truly means a lot. I write something there on the 15th of each month. You are welcome, I hope by writing about my childhood and teenage years it will help others. There are a lot of us living, who were in some sort of dysfunction. It helps to get help when you are young so you don’t repeat the cycle. Thank you Resa, it is so nice to have you here. Sending love and hugs and excitement about your book!
You are welcome!
Okay, the 15th at the hotel!
Agree with your points. You are a smart person.
Take care Joni! 💖💖💖💖💖
Thank you Resa. Just finding your https://www.ResaMcConaghy.com site and enjoying this afternoon looking at the movies you have designed for and even your nominations for awards. How exciting to be able to look at your designs on the people you created them for in a scene. Your work is just so glamorous. I bet your book is very entertaining as well. I bet it is filled with all kinds of interesting information about being in the mix of those you have worked with over the years. Congratulations on the wonderful review that Diana did for nine black lives by Resa McConaghy. I had hope to reblog it today, but we are having another wind storm, and our internet is going on and off. You are quite the enigma my friend. It is nice for you to visit. I know that your schedule is crazy so please just visit when you have the time. I am going to enjoy watching some more videos and reading more of your blog in the upcoming weeks. What an interesting character you are indeed. You are a modest creature – I am not surprised. Big hugs and thank you again Resa. ❤️❤️❤️
Dear Joni,
Oh my, these are very kind and flattering words.
Thank you!
I do admit I loved my Career. After over 50 film & tv productions, plus many commercials, rock videos, shorts etc., then Covid, I sort of retired from film. I would still do a project, if it had the chance for awards.
Years were spent making other writer, directors, actors etc. visuals come to life.
Now, it’s for me. The Art Gowns are my vision. One day a star will live up to their stance on the environment, and wear one of my sustainably sourced Art Gowns (made from textile trash).
I know it’s a hard choice when you can wear a Dior, Armani or Vera Wang, for free.
Mine can be worn for free, too!
How lovely that you are spending time looking at my profile.
I am honoured.
The other thing is that I worked with a lot of famous actors, and have many humerus and heart warming anecdotes. I am trying to put them into a memoir of anecdotes, but it’s hard to write when it feels like I’m living my life over.
Keep moving forward is key.
Thank you, again! You are a very kind and interesting person. You have full heart.
Resa xo
Make art not war.
Make art not trash.
You are welcome, and we did enjoy looking at all the clips from the movies and the stars you designed costumes for, and wow, some truly big stars. We love the theater and movies, but it is hard work. I admire anyone who has the patience to design clothing and to sew and fit everything. I love what you are doing now and your dresses are amazing, glamorous, and unique. I also read your beautiful book review that Diana wrote and honestly it sounds like an extremely interesting read. You are amazing. A multi-talented woman. I am going to buy your book, but it might be a while before I can read it with the attention it will deserve. I don’t do anything fast. Thank you for your kindness and all you are doing to care about our environment and to show that delicate and fabulous fabric can be used more than once. We are honored to know you. I am always amazed when I meet people who are so talented in so many different fields. You are an amazing woman and I hope you celebrate yourself because you should. A hero, an amazing example for others! xoxoxo Love that saying: Make art not war. Make art not trash! YEA!!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Just download the book. I like the ending in the free download better.
Just go to the menu at the top of my blog. Click on “Nine Black Lives” Download it from there.
NO rush!
Thank you for all your kind words.
Interesting, because I think you are a hero!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
I don’t mind buying the electronic copy. It is sweet of you to offer and if you do like the ending better, I will do so. That is very gracious of you. You are probably for me. My book was never about the money, it was about the message. It was to try and help others. You make almost nothing on a book and sell boatloads of books monthly. It is getting into the hands of the people who were looking for help. Treatment homes in Seattle, three battered women’s centers, all of whom were deaf, each got a copy for Christmas of my book. The therapist and nurses are getting copies so they can recommend the book and Dr. Claudia Black’s book. Money was never anything I thought about because I don’t make a living at writing. I was grateful that the book did so well and I truly wrote it to offer my story, which was painful to write.I have a feeling you are the same way now. You are trying to do something that you believe in, and you left that job where you were making lots of money and enjoying what you were doing to try and do something that is a match with your belief systems about saving our earth. I salute you and yes I definitely see you as a hero. Hope your week is a great one full of love!
Pardon for the late reply Joni! I was over on my other blog. I can’t seem to handle 2 at the same time, but I try. LOL
I did a second post on Tissot. The art is gorgeous! https://artgowns.com/2025/02/19/tissot-2/
xoxoxoxo
Oh, you never have to worry about that with me, my friend. I went in and took a look at “Tissot-2.” I just love looking at the process involved in just getting prints of the designs that were done back then. You are in a very fascinating and expert field. I would never have the patience to do what you do. Thanks for letting me know and I hope your week is full of love. Big hugs, and blessings Joni ❤️
Powerful.
Hello Anna, thank you for reading. This is an image of my dad that I will never be able to undo. He truly looked like he would not make it most of the times I saw him like that. I feel sadness when I think of what he must have been going through. I am glad that I know he had faith, I truly hope to see him and my mom in heaven, laughing, without the desire to drink, and wrapping their arms around us. I believe that I will. Mom and I will plant flowers and run and swing on a porch swing while talking to the trees surrounding us and shelling peas like we would on some of her sober days. I hope you are having a great Sunday, Anna, I am sending you my love. I am so grateful to feel better and praying that your health and of course your family’s health is ok. Sending you my love Anna.
So intense, Joni. I’m heading over to finish reading and will leave a comment there. Huge hugs.
Thank you so much Diana. We have been looking at the generous photos you created and supplied on line. First we read all about your history and thank you for the work you did with families and young adults. So fun seeing the characters. What a treat. Belaphriel looks exactly like you described her. They all do but I love these visuals and Nobbin, well let’s just say I want to hold him and read him one of your books. Erith is so stunning as are the kings but she has such a sweet nature but not very trusting. I love this world. Thank you for this treat. We are about to get back to it soon. The highlight of our day together. Hugs back my friend.
It seems that lots of readers would like to have a house hospet. Lol. Thank you, Joni. <3 <3 Hugs.
My pleasure, they are precious. ❤️
I left a comment over there.
Thank you for reading Dawn, I really appreciate it. Hope you are having an amazing week! Sending big hugs and love, Joni
Thank you for sharing your soul Joni <3
Thank you for reading me on Hotel. I also appreciate your sharing your profoundly powerful words, my friend. Thank you and have an amazing weekend. ❤️🙏
You too 😊