Slowly Cracking

Oh unholy time, save me from that which creepeth all too near,
Enclose me not into a world, to wait in turn decay.
For it is the sticky spiders’ web, my untimely senses do fear.
Upon a Lilly pad afloat I wish to lie, until another day.
From all, and all from me, sharing only nature’s sweetish kiss.
Adorned butterflies will be the godly rulers of the Kingdom’s sky.
Yes, in my mind created I, this Fairy’s Land of bliss.
For sleepless nights on salty pillows are for fools who cry.
Yet I whose framed puzzle hangs so sweetly pieced together,
Have I yet once faced the world of truth without my coated shell?
Dare I float about freely as does the graceful weightless feather?
To face, I must what only time with a whispering voice will tell.
So until the answers come, in the spiders’ woven web I await,
But slowly cracking is the shell, so death might find he was too late.

By Joni Smith (my maiden name)

Above is a poem that I wrote in a 2nd-hour Poetic Images class in the middle of my eleventh year of high school. A picture of my grade is the image below which comes with sad memories of a devastating event that changed my life. That event will be in my second book, along with a combination of true short stories and poetry. The content of the book will be based on true but frightening experiences of how I managed to survive with two abusive alcoholic parents.

16 thoughts on “Slowly Cracking

  1. How wonderful you saved this poem from when you were a young girl. So special. Your words are beautiful as always, with the sadness that was always with you for so long.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Hi buddy, I sure appreciate your sweet comment. I found a lot of writing that I thought was lost. Now it will go in my next book with my short stories. One you were kind enough to review for me. I miss you, I wish you were not so far away. Seattle would have to be all the way across the Country. Thank you for being such a faithful follower. Love you Janette

      Liked by 4 people

    1. Good Morning my friend. You are right we are never completely over extremely traumatic events of our childhoods. I don’t think. God held me in his hands when I was little and as a young adult. I had a very bad first marriage because of my past but I have a beautiful, daughter that I am so grateful for and the one real blessing from that marriage. Now I am married to my best friend and I have found peace most days. Every once in a while I will see something on TV which will bring to life a powerful and horrible memory and I will be sad and cry. I give myself the grace to do so as I am sure God understands. I know you and I have connections I can sense it. So to you I say, you are loved and appreciated by me and so many others. I hope your heart is healing as well. Bulbul your poetry touches others it does me. Thank you for commenting. ❤️ love ya Joni

      Liked by 3 people

      1. You surprise me, Joni, with your intution (sixth sense or whatever) because you sensed so much. I was not a lucky child which means that I have experiences which I wouldn’t wish for anyone but I am still not over them..I don’t think you get over these things…but I hope that one day I will be able to talk about it. Because I still can’t talk about it with anyone…most of the days I try very hard to keep up with the happy face and not think about it but there are some days when it gets to me…pushes me in the dark..I come out of it though everytime.
        I am so happy that you are doing better than before…with your loved ones. You have also come out stronger. Hold on to your peace.
        I think I am getting better.
        You know..I seriously needed to hear this today. I am really touched by your words. Have a great day friend! Lots of Love Bulbul. ♥️♥️

        Liked by 4 people

Leave a Reply to jonicaggiano Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s