Poem by Joni Caggiano ©️2024 – Image DeepAI.org
Enjoy a Complete Narration by S W Caggiano
on Hotel of this Story While You Enjoy Your Christmas Morning
Red Ball
Hannah wept silently into her dusty apron. She spun her thin face around, much like a donut, awaiting its freckling of powdered sugar. Tears cast their agonies upon hand-stitched hydrangeas, petunias, and magnolias while honeybees clung close with their bulging pollen-laden legs. Ruth had spent six months embroidering this apron for her and Hannah’s mother.
Being the last two siblings at home in a family of thirteen had been a relief. Hearing a knock at the door, Hannah fell haphazardly, almost hitting her head on the aluminum table. Memories flooded her unstable mind, and the scene that nearly killed her was recapitulating as it did every year close to Christmas. Like a rabid wolf frothing at the mouth, their already inebriated dad stood at the old farmhouse door, painting a gruesome nightmare, with slurred words, for Hannah and her mother to ingest.
To continue reading, please visit Hotel Masticadores, and please be sure to like, comment, subscribe and share. Thank you, as always, Michelle Navajas and J RE Crivello, for continuing to publish my work and many other poets and artist on the many Masticadores sites.
Merry Christmas to everyone, and may everyone have a blessed and Happy New Year!
Joni, thank you for sharing with us this story. This hits home to me as it reminds me of the time my father died. I wasn’t around to say goodbye, and up to now I wish for one more chance to say goodbye and the hope of eventually being able to heal whether through faith or memories. It has been years but like your story, the pain of losing a loved one doesn’t fade away easily and it can even haunt us for years.
It is always my pleasure Mich to write for Hotel. No one is ever ready to lose a parent, and no matter how long we have them on this earth, we miss them when they are gone. I get a lot of comfort from knowing that my mom and her little sister are in heaven together. She really was the only person who ever told my mom she loved her the whole time she was living at home, which was a horrific time. My mom loved Ruth very much, and it must have been one of the saddest moments of her life, but my mom was a woman of faith, and I will always be grateful that she taught me about God and gave me a bible. I like to think of seeing people we love again when we go to heaven, and they are healed from all their pain and suffering. That is what helps me. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to write a story for Christmas. Love you guys and hope your Christmas has been a very special one.
Congratulations, Joni. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Tim, to you and the whole family. I bet the furry family are getting some cheese bowls today. ❤️🤗
Wonderful, Joni! It touches my heart. ❤️
Hello Timothy – Merry Christmas, and I hope that you and your family are having a blessed time together and a wonderful Christmas. It is always such a blessing to be with family, especially at Christmas. Thank you for reading or listening to the story, and sending you and yours blessings for the New Year. ❤️
this story broke my heart. Such intense, and profoundly intimate storytelling. I love how joni has grown as a writer. This is lovely. This is touching.
I loved listening to Scott’s reading. He is made to be a narrator. Great work my brother.
Happy Christmas to two of my favorite people. Apologies for being late to the dance.
Thank you for listening, Nigel, and we are both glad that you enjoyed the story. I should write more stories. As you know, while writing for Terveen, I wrote a story a month. Practice certainly makes a difference. I felt especially honored to write the Christmas story this year. Mich surprised me. It was kind of Mich because it was a long story, and Scott was kind enough to narrate, so I was hoping people could put on the story while they cooked cookies and sat around with their families. So, thank you again for taking the time to listen. Scott sends his thanks as well for your comments on the narration. Big hugs and love from both of us dearest Nigel.
You’re welcome Joni..I trust you had a relaxing Christmas.
Yes, thank you, Nigel. We just hung out here at home, watched some TV, and ate too much. With my daughter and grandkids in Hawaii, we did not even decorate. I hope you get to go home and see the rest of your family soon. I know your mom and sisters missed you. Big hugs and lots of love from both of us.
What a beautiful, achingly sorrowful story, Joni. I left a comment over at Hotel, but wanted to let you know here how much I loved this piece and how it brought to mind my mom in her final days and a random talk we had to clear the air about a few things. I’m so grateful I was able to have that talk with my mom, and so was she. We never know when our loved ones will leave us; we must make sure we let people know how we feel while we still can. This tale is perfection, my friend.
I hope your Christmas was a good one and your new year will be better than we can imagine. Lots of love to you and Scott. 😊
Dearest Mike, thank you for this heartfelt comment, as it touched my heart deeply. I am glad that you had that time with your mom. I know you loved her, and I can only imagine what that opportunity meant to you. I remember when my mom killed herself. She had been sober for two years before her death. My dad’s death had occurred only two years earlier, and that was a complete shock. My mom and I had just talked a couple of days before, and I remember how happy she sounded. She had walked down the ocean pier and had some of her AA friends over, and I thought she was finally gonna make it. However, I know that depression can be overwhelming, and I stopped being mad at her years ago for leaving out of the blue. Her life was so hard, and I don’t think I could have endured what she did as a woman alone, often with kids while my dad was in the service and being so isolated. So I know that I will see her again, and I have hung on to that thought. Unlike many people who believe in God, I have never thought that the God I believe in, who is loving and forgiving, would send someone to hell for already having lived in a sort of hell on earth and just being too depressed to go on. Thank you, Mike, for your kind comments both here and at Hotel. Hugs and love, Joni
You’re right, of course–life can be hell on earth for many of us. My mom went through 52 years of that with my dad. She made mistakes, errors in judgment, that caused my sisters and me to suffer, but I don’t believe she made those mistakes out of malice, but rather out of fear of what my dad might to do her if she didn’t always take his side. There was a lot of resentment on my part towards my mom for placing us kids in harm’s way by staying with my dad. We didn’t have a great relationship. But I know she did the best she could with what she had, and she was like me in the sense that we allowed people to run roughshod over us without fighting back. I was forced into being her protector as a little kid because of this, and that’s not a role a small child should have to adopt. This role persisted for decades until her death, which is a major reason I spent those last years of her life at the farm helping care for her. I had to make sure she was safe from my dad. That final talk we had was sort of a miracle (and I don’t believe in miracles) in the sense that I was the only person who got to talk to her about things before she died. I’m grateful for that.
My dad killed himself two years after my mom died, but there was no relationship between the two of us, just fear and hatred, things I’m still trying to sort out in counseling.
I agree with your final statement. I believe God cares more about the way we live than the way we die. If God truly is a God of mercy, He’ll understand this and will welcome those of us who simply can’t take anymore of this life. A lifetime of punishment here on earth shouldn’t justify an eternity of punishment as recompense, you know?
You’re incredibly strong, Joni, and you’ve made it through so much in your life. Much respect to you, my friend. Your presence here is a godsend for so many of us. Thanks for being here. Much love to you and Scott. 😊
Dearest Mike, this is just so crazy reading this. Of course I know exactly what you mean about your mom. With me it was my mom who was the primary abuser in every way. What I did not know, or if I did, I forgot, which I can’t believe I would forget such a thing as your father committing suicide two years after your mother’s death. My dad actually orchestrated his death. He was supposed to have a lung biopsy, and instead when his blood pressure was stabilized and he was being taking good care of, and it should’ve been a simple test. He had been warned never to take another Sudafed as it causes the blood pressure to rise and could cause one of his two inoperable cerebral aneurysms to rupture. So I’m on my way down there on a flight that I really couldn’t afford at the time as practically a new mom, and when I get there he’s brain dead. He had taken a whole bottle of Sudafed, knowing that would definitely blow one of the aneurysms, which it did. He snuck them into the hospital. His body was physically cold by the time I got there. He was very angry at me because I did not bring my daughter with me, she was a baby. I did not think it would be fair to her to have her around a bunch of people she didn’t know and we would be at the hospital the whole time anyway. So evidently because I did not bring her he decided just to go ahead and take the whole bottle of Sudafed before I ever got there. It was years later that I learned the story and what had actually happened at the hospital and I was very angry because I wanted to say goodbye to my father, even though we had had a tumultuous relationship. He was also extremely abusive, and he was mean when he was drunk, but at least he would go to sleep, but he beat my mother too, and tied her to the bed and put a washcloth in her mouth, and I had to see that with her lying there naked and helpless. Anyway, sorry to get on a tangent. I wanted to tell you that I just pre-ordered D. Wallace Peach’s new book. I am so excited not only will I have her book, but I will now have a published piece of your gorgeous poetry which blends so perfectly with the beginning of the book that you can read online, it’s just a perfect fit. What a beautiful piece you wrote, every line is a masterpiece. I am so excited for you Mike and so grateful that your amazing talent is getting recognized by people who have done so well as authors and have so much talent themselves.
I wish that there was someway that we could celebrate the book coming out on January 2 with your poem in it. I wish we were neighbors. Thank you as always for your gracious words Mike, I am so grateful for the blessings that you are finally receiving for your gift and hard work with your writing. It is so deserved and a blessing to everyone who gets to read it as well. I am excited to get my book, it’s pre-ordered so I hope I get it shortly after January 2nd. Big hugs and lots of love. ❤️
Wishing you a New Year filled w/ all God’s best, dear friend. <3 <3 <3
Hello Dear Anna, It is so nice to hear from you. I hope that you are well and have a New Year filled with love. Thinking of you today and feeling gratitude to know you, my friend. Love you, Joni
The first part of this is riveting, Joni. I’m heading over to read the rest. (A beautiful heartfelt exchange here between you and Mike too). I love the kindness and care in this community.
Thank you so much for your kind words Diane. I marvel at such prolific writers like yourself. It takes great discipline and lots of talent. Yes, we are indeed blessed with an amazing community. I, like yourself, have a deep appreciation for Mike’s gift as an honest poet that writes from his very soul. He and I are kindred spirits having shared a lot of what it is like to grow up in a very abusive environment. Yet he remains a tender soul, an unbelievably gracious man and an avid supporter of the community. It takes tremendous work to become the story teller that you are. I truly hope that you receive the recognition you deserve. I celebrate the beauty of women growing into themselves. For me the older I get the more I cease to hold back. By the way congratulations on the beautiful new release of your latest book and that dress Resa made from the materials you found. I am excited to get my copy of, “Tale of the Seasons’ Weaver!” Have an amazing week.
Thank you, Joni. I applaud you for growing into a beautiful soul you are. I often wonder about the inner strength or spirit or resilience in people who grow up in abusive situations and come out with their hearts and souls intact. There’s something incredibly wondrous about that core goodness that couldn’t be damaged. Not everyone weathers those terrible experiences to become gentle, kind, and generous people. I hope you, and Mike, know how remarkable, strong, and special you both are.
And thanks for the kind comment on the gown and book. <3
Thank you for your gracious words. I am very grateful to Dr. Claudia Black, who wrote “It Will Never Happen to Me.” Her book was recommended to me, and I could read it and understand that I was different and why. The pioneering physician in the study of Adult Children of Alcoholics. I knew I needed to get help right away, and I did. I will always be grateful to her. I believe that Mike is a very special and extremely gifted writer, and I feel so blessed to know him. Thank you for acknowledging the strength it takes to not repeat the pattern but to even give back, that means a lot to me, and I know it does to Mike as well. So your kind words touch my heart, and I am grateful for this amazing opportunity for Mike.
I am very excited to receive my book, it is on pre-order. After reading the beginning of the book on Amazon, I was so captivated by the vivid and lush palette you painted on your first page.
“With humanity’s fate on a perilous edge, Erith must break free of the king’s grasp and unravel a legacy of secrets. In a charmed court where illusions hold sway, allies matter, foremost among them, the Autumn Prince. Immortal and beguiling, he offers a tantalizing future she has only imagined, one she will never possess—unless she claims her extraordinary power to weave life from the brink of death.”
As a lover of nature and one who truly believes we are destroying our earth, this sounds like an extraordinary book, which I will have on the 2nd of January. A “Weaver of Life,” what a brilliant concept.
Holly is such a humble and wonderful poet, as is Mike. Resa performed the “weaving” of a magical dress from those incredibly delicate and perfect fabrics and lace you found. What a splendid gift and send-off for “Tale of the Seasons’ Weaver.” How exciting. Resa is another talented soul.
Looking so forward to seeing Mike in print and reading your engaging and ensorcelled new book, based on your “Amazon Sample.” (Mike’s poem does feel like the perfect piece – it was like it was written to be part of this spectacular tale.) Enormous congratulations to you, Diana, on your latest book, and thank you again for your kindness. Big hugs, Joni ❤️
Thanks so much, Joni. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the book lives up to Mike’s poem. Honestly. Lol. But it’s all good. I love celebrating talent and there is an endless supply of tiaras for kindness.
You are most welcome. Kindness today is a wonderful commodity, what a sweet thing to say about Mike’s poem. He is so honored. It will be a splendid pairing. Have a blessed New Years. 🦋
What a wonderful and heartfelt story Joni! I loved the interweaving of each seamless word. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for reading my story for I know it was a long one. I appreciate you reading me on Hotel and wish you the most wonderful week ahead. Many blessings, Joni 🤗
Beautiful, Joni!
Oh thank you Dawn I am really grateful you enjoyed it. My mom did lose her sister in a car accident and she was the only one at home that ever told her they loved her. I never heard this story until she killed herself, and I found it in her handwriting, in a military trunk at the bottom of her bed, along with part of the story of her life. It was such a gift to me. I also knew that she is aware I inherited the gift of being able to write and the desire to write. My mom blessed me with my faith and even though childhood was difficult, she and I will be reunited one day along with my dad. Alcoholics cannot help themselves always. It’s a disease and they did not have the kind of help for that they have now unfortunately. I love her and wish I could talk to her. Love, Joni.
A beautiful story Joni! Thanks for writing it! I loved it! <3
Thank you so much dearest Carol Anne. Big hugs and love. xoxoxo Joni