The Military Man – My Father

Lost for wise and fair words as I struggle sadly trying hard to understand,
This five-foot-four, striking, but mostly drunk this lonely military man.

Before his sixteenth birthday, he took off to the horrid deadly Korean war,
Crippled was this young soldier inside and out as the memories still tore.

Dad, would pick up the dead and make ice-cream at night for the men,
A hardened shell he was, the war now over, when they casually did send,
Him back home, and for this once little girl, the outcome would be grim.

I never knew my father except when drunk, he would yell and often talk,
He beat me, tied up mom, and slept outside when he could no longer walk.

Calling to me one day while I played in the woods he shot his gun at me,
Afraid for my life to a neighbor’s barn shaking and afraid I did quickly flee.

The monster lived inside of him daily rotting away all that was the good,
But it could not stop my love for this man whom in uniform once stood,
In another life, I dream, this man I love would be the father that he should.

As he lay in a coma, a tender kiss I put on his head as I whispered to him,
I love you daddy, and forgive you, for the beautiful life that could have been.

Although I never got to know my father the way I would have liked to, I loved him nonetheless. He did join the Army before he was sixteen. War is a horrible thing, and he saw things no one that young should ever have to hold on too. His alcoholism made my life frightening, and my childhood a nightmare. He suffered from panic attacks and became agoraphobic, which I must push myself daily to avoid. His alcoholism would allow him to go places and do things he otherwise might never have done. I am proud of the service of more than twenty years my father gave to our Country. Even though my father rarely spoke to me, I know he would have given up his life to save mine or the life of his granddaughter! Rest in peace my father, my hero, and a man that did believe in God. I will see you again in Heaven.
JKC 7/22

6 thoughts on “The Military Man – My Father

  1. I didn’t have a military father nor did I serve. I can’t imagine life after going through something like your father did, especially when the likely advice from would-be therapists would be to “grin and bear it”, “suck it up” or “move on”. It’s no wonder he drank!

    Beautifully expressed – thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jess thank you so much for your heartfelt comment. I feel bad, I usually don’t get comments so forgive me for taking so long to see this. Your comment means a lot to me because of the relatability I find in almost everything you write and how it moves me. I was also out of town so again thank you not only for being so sweet to comment but for always posting your beautiful work which deeply touches me. Love Joni

      Liked by 2 people

  2. You have freed yourself by forgiving…I praise God for giving you strength to endure and wisdom to understand. May your honest sharing be a comfort to others Joni. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much my friend. I know I will see both my parents in heaven. They were just very sick. They taught me about God and his Son, Jesus. Love Ya Joni

      Liked by 1 person

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