This is my first attempt at Melissa Lemay’s Flash Fiction Challenge, where, in short, you come up with a poem or flash fiction based on a picture Melissa provides (see embedded link below for instructions and picture for this week). It was fun! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, “Unwelcome Strangers”.
Unwelcome Strangers
My thirty-day detention was up in the small local mental health center. As Betsy walked me to the door, in my dismally out-of-style, red dress, and unclad feet, I began to contemplate where I was headed. I never gave my parents any reason not to trust me.
“Someone came into the office and wanted us to give you the keys to your family’s Porsche. They had these papers for you to sign leaving you the family home and the two-hundred-acre estate. I am sorry you missed your parents’ funeral. The newspaper said it was beautiful!” Betsy mumbled under her breath which smelled of Lysol. She was an unduly, friendly nurse whose implants were so big she always looked like she was about to topple over.
“Thanks for nothing,” I said, as she handed me a legal document in a binder with the embossed name of Suiter and Suiter, Jr. “You shouldn’t have listened to my parents. I told both you and the judge I wasn’t crazy. My parents didn’t believe me either and now they’re both dead,” I felt like I was swallowing a cement block. Each dismal step would take me back to where it all started.
The first stop I made was at the run-down hardware store. I purchased an axe and two gas cans which I filled up at the old gas station at the tattered end of town. Then I was free and on my way to that formidable monster, that now was indeed all mine. It had cost me everything, and I would embrace my reckoning. Little did those voices behind and underneath the hardwood, who held her up, know that soon it would no longer be in the land of the living.
For two years my parents had called me crazy when I told them about the voices that kept me awake at night. Instead of comforting me, they locked me in my room. The voices called to me through the cracks in the walls begging me to join them. Some nights they cried and told me terrible stories about how they died and why they were left behind.
After they had me committed I had a feeling that they would start to torment my parents. I know it was them who pushed my parents down the stairs. The chance of them walking down the stairs at the same time and falling while holding each other’s hands was impossible. They each had a broken neck and other injuries. That is what I was told and I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
My parents had a marriage in name only. They barely spoke since Dad lost his job and he moved us out to the old country estate that his parents left him. We lived on Mom’s money and she was angry all the time. Still, I loved them and now I was alone and without purpose.
With a well-laid plan, I found myself on auto-pilot. I set about hauling the two cans full of gasoline into the house. Then when the sky lit up red and the fireflies started to dance to the sound of the chuck-wills-widow, I brought the axe in and placed it by the stairs. By the time the bats started their screeches, the voices came from the hardwood floors and echoed throughout the empty house. A house which was never a home and perhaps that is why those old souls were stuck behind. Maybe they were waiting for someone to love them. I told them that night we would all go to heaven together. I knew they should have been at rest.
I sang a favorite hymn of Mom’s as I poured the gas all over the hallway upstairs and downstairs. I took the axe and made holes in the wood so the spirits would have a doorway to depart. This house wouldn’t be allowed to hurt anyone else. I would make sure of that.
Standing by the beautiful round window I said my prayers and lit the match. I could feel the burning but only for a moment as many large bright lights flew from the holes I made in the wood. As I watched them dance up to heaven, I was now standing outside the house. I saw the house surrender to the fire as the ash flew around me. Then I heard my mom calling me to come swimming in the lake. As I walked amongst a great veil of wildflowers I saw both mom and dad having a picnic as the sun was rising.
What a great story!
Thank you so much Dawn high praise coming from you. Seriously a big thank you. I have been nervous about jumping in but decided it might be fun and help me get my feet wet again on stories. I really appreciate your kindness. Thank you again and happy weekend. ❤️🤗🙏
This is fantastic storytelling..loved it. So proud of you, Joni. This had all elements I love in a short story. Brilliant…simply brilliant. 👏👏👏
Wow, thank you Nigel. I am smiling right now as I am shocked by such high praise coming from you, what a great compliment. There are some really good story tellers in this group and I was nervous but time to get over that. So thank you so much. I saw that you wrote a story too and I am going to read all the responses. We had a surprise call from my daughter today and her and the boys are coming to stay for three days and we haven’t seen them in two years. So I had a long period of time today where I was pricing tickets and doing things to prepare for their visits but I am excited to read the rest of the stories. Thank you Nigel for your kind words, Scott was happy to hear you liked my story too. Looking forward to reading yours and Melissa’s. We both send our love. ❤️
It was so wonderful to see you step out of that comfort zone, and drop a gem of a story on us..
Happy the grandkids are coming over to visit. Should be a fun trip. Please give my best to Scott.
Loving this story.. you made my day, Joni. 👏👏😊
Nigel, you are the sweetest thing, I was very nervous about writing a story as this group has some amazing story tellers and you are right I needed to do something out of my comfort zone. Melissa gave us an amazing prompt, just so fun. Yes we are so very excited to know the kids and my daughter will be her on Sunday. Scott said, “Right back at you Bro!” We both send our love and you are always in our prayers. 🥰
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Great for you.
Thank you so much John. It is easy to be intimidated by this group of storytellers. I needed to push myself a bit and I did. I appreciate your reading and your encouragement. Hope the weather has cooled down where you are, it finally did a bit here and we have had rain which was wonderful. Sending my love, Joni
You are very welcome. It is still hot here, but surviving.
Have a great weekend John. Big hugs, 🤗
You too. Bigger hugs.
Fantastic story, Joni, one that poked my heart and mind. ❤️
Thank you Timothy. I really appreciate you reading. I had fun joining in with a group of folks and this is a first with me. I wanted to push myself a bit. I hope that you all have had a bit of relief from this crazy hot weather. We finally got some rain and boy did farms and the animals need it too. We also got news today that my daughter and our grandchildren are coming for a three day visit, so we are pretty excited. They grow so fast in two years. Big hugs, love and blessings, Joni
We’ve been at a cabin on Lake Michigan with our daughter, son-in-law and two grandsons for the past week, Joni. I hope you have a wonderful time with your family. ❤️
How wonderful, time with family is so precious and kids grow so quickly, you are all probably enjoying the sun shine and hot weather right by the water, how fun. Thank you Timothy, it will be great to spend time with our family too. The boys are getting so big. You all enjoy your time with each other and your family. Time with family is precious indeed. Many blessings my friend. Be safe ❤️
A captivating and brilliantly written story, Joni! I love it!
Sending you lots of love and great big hugs 🥰🤗💐
Oh thank you so much Bianca. How sweet of you to read my story. Thank you for your kind words. By the way I love you with that brown hair, what a pretty photograph. It is kind of fun to play around with hair color and stuff. Sending you great big hugs and love my friend. ❤️🥰😘
Oh! Wow! You made a very nice haunted house story. Quick and to the point. Loved it!
Hope you have fun, and are doing the things you love. Take care dear mlle Joni. Sending love and hugs ❤️💌
Hello dear Myriam, thank you for reading my attempt at flash fiction. I decided to challenge myself a bit and actually had some fun. I got news today that my daughter and the grandkids were coming so we are very excited about that. I will have to take lots of pictures as the boys have gotten so big in the two years since we have seen them. I can not wait to give them a big squeeze. I am sending you my love my dear friend. Sending kisses too. 🌹❤️😘
What an intriguing story.
Thank you Tessa, I enjoyed yours as well. I had a lot of fun doing this. Sometimes stepping out from what we are comfortable with is a good idea. It was a pleasure to meet you as well. Many things and hope your weekend is a blessed one. Hugs, Joni
NIce to meet you Joni! I am waiting for news of my uterine biopsy. They are looking for cancer so I am really stressed out right now. Not to mention the physical issues I am going through.
I just said a long prayer for you my new friend. I pray that your news is good news. Many prayers for blessings coming your way. 🙏
Thank you my dear new friend. I can use all the prayers I can get.
Well I am happy to pray for you. God hears all the prayers too.
Wow—a great piece! You left just enough to the imagination to keep me intrigued. Creepy and full of emotion. I felt sad for the girl, whose parents didn’t believe her and had their own struggles; I felt bad for the spirits in the house, who “maybe they were waiting for someone to love them”. And the ending with the “veil of wildflowers” and mom and dad having a picnic. It really speaks to me about how we are all lost souls.
Thanks for joining in, Joni. I hope you are having a wonderful week and I hope you will join in again.🙏🏻❤️
Thank you so much Melissa. Wow, I was so nervous about writing a story with all you great storytellers in this group, some of my very favorites of course. Thank you for telling me what you enjoyed as well. I learn from that and I really appreciate it too. A big congratulations on your nomination for “Poet of The Month,” too. It is such an honor to be nominated by SpillWords Press NYC. Many blessings and thanks again for your kind words they mean a lot to me. We found out today that our daughter and three grandchildren will be here on Sunday and we are very excited. They grow so much in two years, I am sure you know what I am talking about, so we are very excited for them to get here. I definitely will do this again, I had so much fun. I loved your prompt. Hope your week is filled with love, Joni ❤️
What a well – written story Joni. I particularly felts so bad for the girl whose parents obviously did not believe her. In real life we have the same stories of parents not believinf their children. Why? Because we maintain this notion that kids “make up stories” and when its a reality it becomes too late for them to do something.
Thank you so much for reading my story Mich, I decided to try something different as I have been having trouble writing lately. It is definitely true, parents should listen to their children. I couldn’t agree more. By the way I loved your poem, what a gorgeous piece you wrote. You looked at the picture and saw the girl in the dress in front of that beautiful window and missed the axe, I think it is interesting too, because sometimes it is all about perception. Perhaps you had your mind on love when you looked at the photo. Anyway, great poem and I thought it was fun. Scott is asking me to send his love as well, so love and hugs from both of us! ❤️
A fantastic story weaved. I felt like I was watching the scenes happening. Bravo!
Oh thank you so much my friend. I really enjoyed writing it and so delighted you enjoyed it. Thank you so much as I truly enjoy reading you. Many blessings. Much love, Joni 🌹
Oh! How fantastic for you to get to see your grand kid and family, so happy for you. Take care of you my dear Joni ❤️
My place is beautiful, I love the view. I write to you soon have fun writing 🌸❤️🌸
Oh my dearest Myriam I can not tell you how happy I am to hear that you have a place that you love. When you are settled I would so love to hear from you. Until then I send my love and hugs. Always with prayers for happiness and great joy. Love you 🥰 Joni PS this great news makes my day, thank you so much for sharing. Yea!!!!!!
Oh thank you! I posted some photograph on the world around me on the blog, if you want to see and feel the place too. Meanwhile, have a beautiful sunday eve. ❤️❤️❤️
Oh Myriam, thank you for letting me know, I am going in now. Love you sweetie, sending big hugs and kisses too.