Dark Regret

Posted on by jonicaggiano
person sitting on a staircase windowsill
Poem ©️2024 Joni Caggiano – Photo by Irina Novikova on Pexels.com

Dark Regret

the sun lays blame-free inside our suite on her belly
a hungry valley of salt-less tears feed twisting roots deep
my eyes, moored, tight to a dock, though I die like a yawn for sleep

dew drops in a miniature, brown bottle, garnish my gift
nightly, I place one drop gently behind each ear, a lavender smell
a stranger in our innermost sanctuary, in umbra, I await the sound of the bell

wearing a satin gown and knotted pearls, alluringly, I climb
lingering by the bedroom door, I relive your careless step each night
awakening sad echoes of your screams, a prisoner in my own solitary fright

hand-picked, an ornamental staircase you chose for our home
your english rose, fresh bud, was my name, so cherished in every way
sun smears steps, ribboned lavender flesh, at the end of our stairs, you lay

a bit tipsy from a grievous party that hauntingly stole my love  away
our wall clock irreversibly stopped, my life gone after a dance-filled night
tattooed upon stone eyes, forever reliving, why hadn’t I just turned on the light

30 thoughts on “Dark Regret”

  2. Classically beautiful writing…I felt transposed to that dark night, maybe in a safe corner, your words allowed me to see your thoughts your fears your hallucinations? I am having computer problems..(new computer too:( but I just loved this one Joni and wanted you to know.

    Reply

    1. Oh I am so sorry my friend. I was hoping and praying for a stress free weekend for you. Thank you for your kind words I appreciate them so very much my dear kind friend. I have been thinking about you a lot and your loss. Just so grateful your son is around. Love you sweetie. ❤️🙏❤️

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  3. Time always ceases to exist whenever I read your poetry, Joni. It’s like entering a different dimension. This is such a haunting piece, with imagery that assails the senses and a brooding, lingering undertone. It’s such a fascinating piece, one that gives up its secrets only after multiple readings. In other words, it’s Classical Joni Poetry as only you can create. What a pleasure to read you again, my friend. 😊

    Reply

    1. How funny my friend because I have been reading you tonight as I think the book issue is solved thanks to a seemingly understanding and gracious man and of course my publisher hard work on my behalf. Anyway, I had some breathing time tonight and for the first night in a week was not so unbelievably anxious. It is so strange as I always end up reading your work over and over again as well because I don’t want to miss anything. I love to hear you describe my poetry it makes me feel so special. It is like eating an ice cream Sunday, except with coffee, caramel and almond, butter pecan flavors, and topped with chunks of dark chocolate. I mention the man in this poem in a comment I made in response to one of your pieces I read tonight. We never lived together I was a teenager still with my parents and I would have given my life for his, unfortunately he did pass away from falling down stairs but much later in life. I had always dreamed and hoped that I would get a chance to get some closure with him someday of how he could have been so hurtful. Thank you for reading me Mike, it is always an honor to be read by you my kindred friend. Love Joni🌹

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  4. What was the inspiration behind this hauntingly beautiful piece, Joni. The artwork just pulled me in. Your writing as always, reminds me.i have a long way to go with my poetry 😁.
    “though I die like a yawn for sleep”… What a line.
    I know there is a sorrowful reminiscing in this piece, but it almost doesn’t feel sad. Almost like, the poet wants to relive, wants to channel the memories, wants to relive the emotions even though there is sadness at the end of the daydream.
    You were on fire with this one Joni Caggiano. 👏👏

    Reply

    1. Thank you dearest Nigel. You can read me so truly. I believe it is your intuitive side just like I have, that enables both you and Mike and several other people who know me well to understand my poetry and the meaningthereof. This poem is about the first love of my life when I was young, in many ways he is throughout the second part of the book. He offered me solace and a safe place on the weekend nights, and I lived for those nights. After six years of spending every minute, we could together and loving each other passionately he left me for another girl, one who was a year older, willing to give herself completely, which I was not, and had a brand new convertible. I dreamed about him for many years throughout my marriage. The story I was told when I had hoped to see him and finally get some closure, after talking to his mother and finding out where he lived, and that he was happy. The next time I reached out, I learned that he had fallen down a flight of stairs and intoxicated and broke his neck. This was the story I was told I have no reason to doubt the source. There is nothing like that first love. Thank you so much for your kind words. Nigel being means so much to me. I am such a big fan of your writing all kinds. Sending you big hugs and many blessings. ❤️🦋

      Reply

      1. Wow… That’s tragic on so many levels.
        Yeah, we do grieve quite a bit for that first love. Of course I adore your poetry, and it was nice to hear the back story to it. 👏👏

      2. Thanks Nigel. I know I will catch up to him in heaven. He will always be my first love. He was a gift from God, to give me time away from my crazy house and he must have taken a thousand photographs of me. I can’t stand to have my photo taken now but I loved that he thought I was pretty. Lots of love ❤️

    1. Thank you my dear beautiful friend. I am so glad that you read this piece it means a lot to me. Thank you for your kind comments, I am sending you big hugs and lots of love my friend. I know whatever you’re doing you’re shining and putting out positive for everyone who is blessed to be around you!

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      1. I am glad I read it too! My sentiment whenever I have the pleasure of reading your creative work. Thank you very much kind heart and loving spirit. 💖 Hope life is offering you and yours abundant love and happiness.

      4. Yes, it is Michele. I think I need to get back to having a prayer closet like I did before we moved. I need God in my life every day and need to feel more present in my life. God puts beautiful people in my life as reminders that He has this. Love you sweetie. ❤️

      6. That sounds like an amazing idea as well. Thank you, I think restarting yoga would be a good idea. Blessings dear friend. ❤️🌹❤️

    1. Oh thank you so much dearest friend. I so appreciate your kind words. Once the book launch is done I will have a lot more time to do catching up with reading. Big hugs and lots of love coming your way. ❤️🙏❤️

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