On a merry-go-round of perception on a tall prancing, painted horse,
Shifting patterns of movement and thoughts are fleeting swiftly by,
Recesses of memories, flying by with odd faces, I try to stay the course.
Tightening my grip on leather straps, I can remember those days gone by,
A small, speedy heart is pumping, as anxiety spreads through this child,
Did they disappear into the fading crowd, I can’t get down but franticly I try.
The ride a dance of shaky inspections of myself now folded and tossed,
Around and around I go while searching for a glimpse of their two faces,
Once again, my insides turn to cinders as I fear I have been intentionally lost.
by JKC 7/29/19
It’s unfortunate that what could potentially be such a beautiful memory turned into another anxious and traumatic experience, and having to rely on that dysfunction would make anyone crazy. Thank God you survived, and thanks again for sharing it so beautifully!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I am very blessed that I am not only surviving but am a happy an functioning adult. Not everyone is so fortunate.
This is heartbreaking. We so clearly hear the anxiety of a child who was not loved consistently. For such children as we were, Joni, the merry-go-round went up and down. All the while, we were tossed hither and yon, our emotions in turmoil. Thankfully, the grace of God broke our fall. <3
Everything you say is so true Anna. For me I honestly think the fear of never being safe was the worse. You are right though God loves us and He did indeed break our fall. 🤗❤️ Thank you for reading dearest Anna. Sending love ❤️ Joni