Hidden in a square, a box, a compromising space, with far too many borders,
Smoking, drinking, and systematic beatings, and yes, robots barking orders?
Closets smell like pee, my Sears and Roebuck shoes are ruined now, and wet,
I’ll wash the urine out the best I can, for one pair a year is all I’ll get.
Check my hair every morning to see if it’s still there, lucky I’m not bald today,
Our kitchen is on fire, I tell the preacher at our screen door, that is what I say!
I’m six, I’m scared, and I think he might come in and put the growing fire out.
Looking through the thin screen door, he left quickly, and I could only shout.
So skinny, eating out of trashcans, as the dinner table is a scary place to be,
I hide my food in my panties and around my plate until I’m allowed to flee.
I am out until past dark, no one notices, and now, the yelling is at its best,
Mom tied to the bed, a washcloth stuffed into her mouth, and NOW we can rest?
By Joni Caggiano © 2016
Verse 14 – For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Verse 15 – But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Verse 25 – And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone forgive them, so that your father in heaven may forgive your sins.
Remember, this is a multi-generational disease and most of us, like those who grew up as I did, had parents that also were raised in horrible situations themselves. My parents loved me, of this I have absolutely no doubt, but they had a difficult time changing the cycle of abuse. My generation, compared with my parents’ generation, had a lot more resources available to help us to understand why we felt so different then everyone else. My daughter’s generation has even more valuable resources to utilize and share. That is a God given blessing within itself, that as a society we are learning more and more.